(in no particular order)
Tally Hall's cover of Biz Markie - Just a Friend
Tally Hall's cover of The Killers - Smile Like You Mean It
Rogue Wave's cover of Buddy Holly - Everyday
Weezer's cover of The Pixies - Velouria
Weezer's cover of The Beatles - If I Fell
I'm sure there's more but this is what occurs to me right now.
Awesome.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
X-TREME HAPPENINGS
An X-TREME thing happened on the way to the lecture hall... I was riding my bike down Trousdale when a guy on a skateboard and a girl on a bike crashed into each other. It was only a couple feet in front of me so I didn't have time to brake.
Instead, I kept riding along and ended up on TOP OF THE SKATEBOARD for a few seconds. Yeah, that's right. I was riding a bike on a skateboard. How freaking X-TREME can you get? I then pedaled off the skateboard and made a perfect landing, and continued riding along as if nothing had happened.
I'm such a bad-ass.
Instead, I kept riding along and ended up on TOP OF THE SKATEBOARD for a few seconds. Yeah, that's right. I was riding a bike on a skateboard. How freaking X-TREME can you get? I then pedaled off the skateboard and made a perfect landing, and continued riding along as if nothing had happened.
I'm such a bad-ass.
A beginner's guide to gettin' ladies
I know who you are. You're that guy, sitting there, alone. You're wishing you were gettin' ladies right now. I WILL SHOW YOU HOW.
1) Find a lady. Make sure she is an elegant woman. The kind of classy lady you're trying to get should wear cocktail dresses and gloves at all times. She should cover her mouth when she giggles. If she ever speaks above a whisper, or ever tries to suggest ideas of her own, she is NOT ELEGANT and is probably one of those "feminist" types. Gross.
2) Stare intensely. Classy ladies love nothing more than to be stared at by strange men. It makes them feel thin, and special. If she notices you, and then looks creeped out, fear not. She's simply playing hard-to-get. Stare with greater intensity. If possible, gather a group of friends and stare at her together. She will appreciate the lengths you have gone to make her feel special.
3) Be completely silent. Nothing you say will ever impress ANYONE. Therefore, you should walk up to the woman you are trying to get and say nothing. Continue staring.
4) Do a magic trick. If there's one thing small children and elegant women have in common, it's their love of simple magic tricks. Always have a deck of cards on your person at all times for this purpose. Remember, SAY NOTHING. The combination of magic and silence will make you seem all the more mysterious.
5) Give her orders. Elegant women love to serve men, so they love receiving orders. But remember, don't speak! Simply point at the things you want her to fetch, cook, clean, or use to put on an impromptu puppet show. She'll get the message... and she'll love your take-charge attitude!
6) Tell her you hate her and her whole family. Congratulations, now you can start speaking. Classy ladies love getting insulted. Make sure to point out everything you hate about her, including but not limited to her face, her outfit, her odor, her GPA, and her Dodge Neon.
7) Seal the deal. Now, you strike. Try something simple, like, "So are you gonna do me or what?" If she says no, after all you've done, she's probably secretly a dude!
Now that you know how to get a lady, go out there and make me proud!
1) Find a lady. Make sure she is an elegant woman. The kind of classy lady you're trying to get should wear cocktail dresses and gloves at all times. She should cover her mouth when she giggles. If she ever speaks above a whisper, or ever tries to suggest ideas of her own, she is NOT ELEGANT and is probably one of those "feminist" types. Gross.
2) Stare intensely. Classy ladies love nothing more than to be stared at by strange men. It makes them feel thin, and special. If she notices you, and then looks creeped out, fear not. She's simply playing hard-to-get. Stare with greater intensity. If possible, gather a group of friends and stare at her together. She will appreciate the lengths you have gone to make her feel special.
3) Be completely silent. Nothing you say will ever impress ANYONE. Therefore, you should walk up to the woman you are trying to get and say nothing. Continue staring.
4) Do a magic trick. If there's one thing small children and elegant women have in common, it's their love of simple magic tricks. Always have a deck of cards on your person at all times for this purpose. Remember, SAY NOTHING. The combination of magic and silence will make you seem all the more mysterious.
5) Give her orders. Elegant women love to serve men, so they love receiving orders. But remember, don't speak! Simply point at the things you want her to fetch, cook, clean, or use to put on an impromptu puppet show. She'll get the message... and she'll love your take-charge attitude!
6) Tell her you hate her and her whole family. Congratulations, now you can start speaking. Classy ladies love getting insulted. Make sure to point out everything you hate about her, including but not limited to her face, her outfit, her odor, her GPA, and her Dodge Neon.
7) Seal the deal. Now, you strike. Try something simple, like, "So are you gonna do me or what?" If she says no, after all you've done, she's probably secretly a dude!
Now that you know how to get a lady, go out there and make me proud!
Monday, October 27, 2008
A Brief History of ~
The ~ was invented by Marcus Tilde, a mad scientist and therefore a pretty cool dude. In 1925, he was on his deathbed. He thought to himself, "I need to preserve my essence in a thing, so that people remember me when I'm gone." It was important to remember him when he was gone because he was just that awesome. He was the life of every party, and made all the ladies laugh and want to hold his hand and buy him stuff. With the help of his assistant dwarf, Paolo, he built an Essence Transfer Machine. At his death, Paolo placed Tilde's corpse into the machine, and turned it on. On the screen flashed but one symbol: ~.
It was enough. It represented everything that made Tilde such a cool dude. The president saw it and was like, "Woah, that thing must have the essence of a cool dude in it, or something?" He declared October 27th National Tilde Day, and made sure that all typewriters had tildes on them from then on.
Isn't that great?~
It was enough. It represented everything that made Tilde such a cool dude. The president saw it and was like, "Woah, that thing must have the essence of a cool dude in it, or something?" He declared October 27th National Tilde Day, and made sure that all typewriters had tildes on them from then on.
Isn't that great?~
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Welcome
I'd like to take this moment to welcome you to the Hobo Pajama Party. I know what you're thinking. "John, isn't 'hobo' kind of an outdated, offensive word?" The answer is yes, yes it is. But you know what else is offensive? Being a hobo. Get a job, asshole!
Chuckles and I look forward to sharing our really cool thoughts with you.
Chuckles and I look forward to sharing our really cool thoughts with you.
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